Consistently the most popular topic for questions to the I Ching is romantic relationships. Blend equal quantities of passionate desire, wild hope and utter bafflement, and you get questions for an oracle – lots of questions.
But it’s especially valuable to divine about all those other relationships: friendships, working relationships of all kinds, partnerships, maybe family. We weave our lives out of this stuff: how to communicate with parents or children, or help friends who are going through a bad time, or work harmoniously with someone you don’t like. All the subtle nuances of feeling and the complexities of human character are here.
I’d suggest that whenever you have the opportunity to talk with Yi about one of these relationships where you’re involved without being passionately invested in the answers, seize it.
For one thing, divination will help you, to better understanding and better outcomes. You can ask questions to get insight into your own motivations (‘What am I really looking for from this?’ or ‘Why this reaction?’). You can ask very straightforwardly for advice: ‘How best to act in this situation?’ You can ask questions to understand the dynamics of the whole situation.
Actually, I think there can be a place here for asking questions to increase your understanding of other people involved. In romantic relationships, this line of questioning always seems to lead to escalating confusion – the whirlwind of two people’s rapidly shifting desires and beliefs, reactions and guesswork, blowing up great clouds of interpretive debris. But questions like, ‘What are my customers looking for?’ or ‘Why did he pass me over for promotion?’ or just ‘What’s happening with this person I hired who isn’t answering my emails?’ – these can help to clear up misunderstandings and avoid miscommunication.
These are situations where we can be involved and present, where it should be easier to interpret clear-sightedly, where we have a good chance of understanding quite complex situations, and where we can see what difference a reading makes to the outcome. All of which, naturally, also makes it a perfect ‘divination classroom’.
For me, there’s always a cycle of mutual nourishment between readings and living: Yi as life teacher, life as an ongoing curriculum to learn about Yi. Divining when you’re not driven by a burning compulsion to know is a lovely opportunity to build up your store of insights into the hexagrams you receive.