GreenOwl wrote:
“Ideally you need to allow a good half hour to talk with (or rather listen to) your querent and arrive at the right question for them.â€
Any chance you could do a post (y’know, sometime) that walks through an example of that process? Or, if you’ve already written about it and I’m forgetting, just point in the right direction. Thanks!
That’s tricky, as I give clients complete confidentiality – no discussion of their situation, question or answer, even anonymously. So I can’t go through a specific real-life example. But I can talk about general experiences that I’ve had with a few hundred customers – hope this will be useful!
(Note: I’m describing this in terms of reading and interpreting Yi for other people. But you could use the same approaches with any oracle, not only the Yijing, and to help yourself, as well as other people, to reach a good question.)
When someone has a straightforward either/or decision to make, for instance for a career or study path, then finding the question usually doesn’t take long.
‘What would x be like?’
and
‘What would y be like?’
cover it – or, of course,
‘What would be different about x?’
Sometimes it feels better to phrase it more seriously:
‘What would following this path mean for me?’
(Though honestly, I think the main reason to use more impressive wording in the question is to encourage us to read the answer at a deeper level.)
Sometimes people will present this kind of question as ‘What should I do?’ Then I would explain that Yi won’t tell them the ‘right’ option, but it will paint vivid pictures of how each would work out and how it would feel. Then they can choose the picture that feels right for them, personally.
Then there are the people who know exactly what they want to happen. But you may need to listen to them for a while to realise this, because they have the idea that what oracles do is (only, ever) tell the future. So the question they present you with is distorted in an attempt to fit into this imaginary box, and they ask,
‘Will this ever happen?’
or
‘When will this happen?’
What they truly want to know might be ‘How can I help this to happen?’ (if they’re pretty much determined that it shall). They may just not be aware that this is something the oracle can help with. The value of showing them that it can is immeasurable.
They may also be trying to decide whether to start seriously working on it: whether this is a place they should invest their time, or money, or emotional energy. The ‘right question’ then might turn out to be,
‘What would it take to make a success of this?’
or
‘If I put my all into this, what would I encounter?’
Sometimes a reading that promises success as a result of heavy investment and hard work may actually be the proof someone needs that this is not for them. (The hexagram pair 45 and 46 are a good example of that kind of message, encouraging or offputting depending on how much people can afford to put in.)
All this gets about fifty times more complicated when it comes to relationship questions, and people who are actually not sure what they want, and need some help working this out. They may turn up with questions like,
‘Will I leave my husband?’
or
‘Will I ever have a lasting serious relationship with x?’
(when some more in-depth discussion reveals that she’s still married to y. Sometimes you have to ask explicitly – are you, is he, already involved with anyone? It’s better to ask personal questions than to produce a completely misleading reading on the basis of inadequate knowledge…)
So you might explain that this depends on what everyone chooses…
…and ask to hear more
…and listen
…a lot
…
It’s not really possible to give a ‘pattern’ for this. It’s true that part of the diviner’s role here is (I think) to provide the kind of logical structure that makes it possible to shift the deadlock. Since you’re not emotionally involved, you’re in a better position to work out what they need to know first, which questions actually depend on the answers to other questions.
But someone in love cannot bear too much logic. Sometimes the question with emotional priority simply has to come first, and it may be something like ‘Can it ever happen, do I dare think about it?’ Phrasing questions here has to be careful and delicate, to ensure that you’re not forcing a question on them that they’re not really ready to ask.
So you listen (did I mention that? 🙂 ) for questions or implicit questions in mid-conversation, things that really sound like cries from the heart: ‘if only I could’, ‘if only I knew’, ‘I can’t decide…’. Again, your querent may not even realise that their true question is something that Yi (or anything) could help them with.
One question that can help – if they’re genuinely ready to consider it and if you can make it clear that this is about possibilities, not a guarantee:
‘If I were to pour my heart and soul into this, if I made that complete commitment, then what would most likely happen?
That ‘if… then…’ is a simple enough approach, but it gives people a safer way to think about possibilities.
What great advice – thank you! (And I think you could safely remove the ‘ish’ from the ‘in-depth’ in the newsletter…)
A couple follow-ups…
1. Either/or questions
Have you ever had reason to worry that when you ask the first question (What if I do A?), Yi has no way to know you intend to come right back to check on other options? Or does Yi ‘get’ that, in your experience?
I’m often tempted to tack qualifiers on the end to head off the possibility of Yi saying I need to consider other options, when that’s exactly what I was planning to do.
Then (of course) I worry that qualifying the first question:
What if I do A (instead of B)?
will just muddle things up and I won’t get a clear answer about ‘A’!
2. “But someone in love cannot bear too much logic.”
Aptly put. *giggles sheepishly*
“Sometimes the question with emotional priority simply has to come first”
Not just on relationship questions – and this may be patently obvious to everyone but me – is your general advice here to just jump bluntly in with the question and not tiptoe around?
I fall into that trap (if it is a trap) quite often, whether it’s because I’m ‘afraid’ of my own question, because I think I don’t dare ask Yi ‘that’, or whatever. Then I end up asking 3 questions when maybe one blunt one would have sufficed…?
Again – thanks for a marvelous article.
I think Yi ‘gets’ it. The reason for putting such care and thought into questions is to ensure that we get it: that we’re thinking straight about what we want to ask, and that we ask something clear enough we’ll be able to make sense of the answer (with any luck).
This is why I avoid yes/no questions. Given that the asnwer isn’t saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’, you can’t even begin to interpret it before you’ve worked out exactly what it is talking about, or what unspoken question it’s answering. (Sam Crane asks yes/no questions regularly, and the comments on his blog do indeed sometimes concern what question is really being answered.)
Directness – yes, every time. It’s not as if Yi were known for beating round bushes, after all.
My dear friends,
This is a great article and worth the read. Thank you.
But, I have to add that many clients ask questions which trun out not to be the question that the I-Ching believes is the inquiry that needs answering. There are many times in a conversation that a “Yes” or “No” answer is and would be required. Because of this Carol Anthony’s RTCM method is most helpful to getting to “The point of the question” everytime.
I read inquiries from people, first they start out just with a question, but once your repore is established with the client, then they write about the situation, and because of your commitment to them you gain information to help build the correct question.
Because of the fact that all my clients e-mail me and I have no “Voice” in listening too, to add to understanding the situation, the I-Ching helps put the inquiry in question into a more understandable perspective.
I also ask the I-Ching if what I have interperted is all that the I-Ching wants the client to know, and If I have understood the situation and interpertation correctly.
Spending time weather in person or not, reqiures a substantial about of time with each client and each question, many times meditation is called for, sometimes I have waited for a day before “composing” an inquiry for a client, to let the “great Consiouness” bring me to a fuller understanding. There is an influence that your emotional state, physical, and spiritual circumstances “Taint” the question, interpertation, etc. We are only human. So I have found that the RTCM method has been most useful all the time. And, Yes, I do ask “yes” and “No” questions, but then because I follow it up with asking the I-Ching if there is anything else to awaken the client to, I still gain an interpertation for those inquires.
I would like to add my great appreciation for all you fine people that have helped me and others over the years, Thank You, and Hilary with your help you have and still are awakening many people to the Path of the I-Ching. Thanks again.
Your humble servant,
Papa Jack
Thanks, Hilary. Very helpful to know that as long as I’m (TRULY) clear about what I’m asking, I don’t need to then wordsmith it to death or surround it with background in my question – Yi will sop up the essential context.
Hmm…didn’t you somewhere recommend a readings template that facilitates that process? First, expound on the subject – second, distill that into a question – third, record the reading – fourth, interpret it – fifth, follow-up with the outcome.
If I can find it, maybe I’ll share the one pretty obvious example I have of a reading where Yi didn’t ‘get’ it – and I know that because when I then said ‘Nooooo – not what I meant!’ Yi immediately came back with a crystal-clear answer to my original question! (Had the feeling I’d just shared an ‘oops’ moment and a good chuckle with the I Ching – fun.)
Papa Jack – now I have something else to Google: RTCM. 🙂