It's going to take time.


I see the key question for 53 in Hilary's book is 'What is evolving here ? How can you be more patient ?'


Heh heh...Looking in my journal for 53uc casts, I had asked in June 12 how long I'd have to wait for something. Well it hasn't arrived yet !

I particularly recall 53uc for a question concerning getting my deposit back from a landlady. I think at the time I was a bit concerned she might say I didn't give enough notice and I was slightly anxious about the whole procedure of notice giving/return of deposit etc etc. 53uc reassured me as I took it that she would follow all the steps of the process in the formal way. For me this meant waiting and being patient with, bearing with, her following the usual prescribed procedure in our landlady/tenant contract. This was some time ago so I have forgotten details but that was it more or less. The reading has stayed with me because she did follow the procedure of receiving notice/date of deposit return and so on as laid out in the contract. It surprised me somewhat as generally she wasn't the type of person to do that. It all turned out fine.

I have another 53 uc cast more recently that I think is certainly advising I need to let things evolve.

So overall I think 53uc is like ....even if you think there may be shortcuts ....there are no shortcuts. You will need to go through the prescribed steps of whatever it is.

In my old printout of what Lise said somewhere she terms this pair, 53 and 54 as ;

Make your life durable​

53 - Vouch for your life, every single second
54 - Accept and take care of short terms for the sake of long terms

Click to expand...

Hilary says of this pair in her book

'Gradual Progress: the marrying woman waits for the man to act.'
'Marrying Maiden: completion for the woman.'

These are two different experiences of marriage: The Marrying Maiden must adapt to a sudden change of state, but in a time of Gradual Progress you must wait - perhaps for a partner who moves at a slower pace, perhaps for some part of yourself to catch up with your resolution. For there to be a real union, the two must travel and arrive together.

Click to expand...

Wing says of 53uc

A tranquil and meditative attitude, KEN, in the lower trigram, creates small but penetrating influences, SUN, above. Without change, the hexagram DEVELOPING suggests that you are involved in a slow, organic unfolding of events in regard to the object of your enquiry. You must take a very traditional, well-trod, and usually slow path to reach your objective. This requires persistence and a constant and principled nature. There are no shortcuts in the journey ahead.

Click to expand...

Anyone have much variation on the waiting experience ?



No Hurry


Take Your Time


All things come to those who wait.

I have a few 53uc casts...

1) 11 months ago I asked What can I do to become friends with X?
Well, nothing has happened since then, I think...
X is a girl I met on-line who I was helping with a donating project. We've never met in real life but I started falling in love with her. Kind of crazy, right? She's in a committed relationship, and even lives in another country, so all I could do was to distance myself from her. I still hoped though that maybe we can become friends one day. (I had feelings for her but it was more or less just a working relationship between us back then.)
It's about time of the year when the project starts again so who knows?!

2) 4 months ago I asked What if I leave my bf so I could be with a woman?
I got 50.5.6>28. I didn't understand what 28 means in this context so I asked to get some clarification on the relating hexagram and received 53uc.
I didn't leave him yet but it's been pretty much evolving and heading in that direction, I think.

So yeah, I can see how 53uc says:
No Hurry
Take Your Time
All things come to those who wait.

This is the kind of thing I sometimes think is obvious to everyone but me ...

What is the difference between hexagrams 53 and 5 in practice?

[Trojina - would you like me to make this a separate thread and link to it here? I posted it here because the ideas of "taking your time" and "all things come to those who wait" are part of this thread; still, it's a tangent, and I'm happy to move it.]

Hilary calls 53 "Gradual Progress" and 5 "Waiting."

One thing I thought of is that maybe in 53 you're actually doing something to make progress, whereas in 5 you're just plain waiting, but then Hilary's questions for 5 are:

"How can you wait patiently and with committment?

"While you wait, how can you best make yourself ready?"

Her questions for 53 are:

What is evolving here?

How can you be more patient?

The idea of just simple patience is in both, but 53 talks about the situation evolving - maybe in 53 it's not necessarily that you yourself are doing something (but sometimes might you be?), but that circumstances are changing around you and you have to let the process finish? Versus in 5, maybe (again) it's more just plain waiting?

I once had a 5uc reading which required nothing more from me than noticing the answer when it appeared in front of my face. Of course that's just one example.

[Edited: just posted the 5uc example here in the 5uc thread.]

P.S. Trojina, I just noticed you wrote about getting 53uc for a question about waiting. LOL

Also, you definitely did talk about 53 meaning there's a process which needs to evolve, so maybe that answers my question. I mean, you don't have to repeat things you already said.

I think what still confuses me, though - is 5 always just passive waiting? When Hilary asks, "While you wait, how can you best make yourself ready?" - is the preparation in 5 more of an attitude rather than a process? The hexagram 5 Oracle starts, "Waiting, with truth and confidence..." (Hilary's translation), which sounds like an attitude - although then it ends with "Fruitful to cross the great river," which seems more active .

Okay, as an example of why I'm confused, look no further than Arabella's example in her introduction to the hexagram 5 thread, which was absolutely a long, drawn-out, very active and involved, life-changing process (which she said ended quite satisfactorily).

So what made that a hexagram 5 situation rather than a hexagram 53 situation? I mean, can we actually pick that apart at all, or maybe we can't say anything more than Yi gives us what it gives us...?

(Will shut up now. Three posts in a row, for heaven's sake .)

If you read the text of 53 you will see it is about courtship procedures prior to marriage.

Hence in my example

I particularly recall 53uc for a question concerning getting my deposit back from a landlady. I think at the time I was a bit concerned she might say I didn't give enough notice and I was slightly anxious about the whole procedure of notice giving/return of deposit etc etc. 53uc reassured me as I took it that she would follow all the steps of the process in the formal way. For me this meant waiting and being patient with, bearing with, her following the usual prescribed procedure in our landlady/tenant contract. This was some time ago so I have forgotten details but that was it more or less. The reading has stayed with me because she did follow the procedure of receiving notice/date of deposit return and so on as laid out in the contract. It surprised me somewhat as generally she wasn't the type of person to do that. It all turned out fine.

Click to expand...

...you will see what happened between me and the landlady went through a formal procedure...no shortcuts. 53 isn't always just about waiting for what is needed it may be you yourself may have to complete something in the prescribed way. I have noted the number of times 53 comes up around beaurocratic procedures for me. Tenancy is such an agreement. It is a formal marriage of a kind. The landlady wasn't going to say "ahh doesn't matter lets forget all that" etc etc" she was going to stick to the formal procedure. That is what my answer told me. There are stages in 53 as you can see if you look at the lines, just as there would have been formal stages in courtship in ancient china I guess.

If for example I asked about getting a particular job if I had 53uc I might expect I would have to apply along the formal routes. This wouldn't be a time where I'd expect a bit of serendipity....you know I call the boss and he just happens to be able to see me that day....and wham bam I am an employee. I'd expect I'd have to fill out the form and tick all the boxes and then see if I get through to the next stage and so on...and then I'd have the interview and then if I got through that there would be the second interview. That is how 53uc can feel....if it were about a job but that is an imaginary example.

I doubt I can explain here the differences between 5 and 53 any better than Hilary's book or better than what's already around the forum. Have you read the memorising threads ?

In hex 5 the waiting may have nothing to do with ceremonial procedures (or things akin to ceremonial procedures)...

[Trojina - would you like me to make this a separate thread and link to it here? I posted it here because the ideas of "taking your time" and "all things come to those who wait" are part of this thread; still, it's a tangent, and I'm happy to move it.]

Click to expand...

Eeeerm I don't know really. See how it evolves

Trojina said:

In hex 5 the waiting may have nothing to do with ceremonial procedures (or things akin to ceremonial procedures)...

Click to expand...

Oh, okay. So maybe even an example like Arabella's from the 5uc thread - a long, drawn-out process - wasn't exactly a formal process, with prescribed steps or standard procedures? (I mean, there are formal steps to selling a house, but that wasn't the aspect Arabella discussed.) Selling her house and so forth took a long time, and was a process, but maybe not in the sense of "here is the list of hoops you'll have to jump through." In 53, maybe the process is something which can be known and established ahead of time (it can be foreseen), whereas in situations like Arabella's, it may still be one thing after another after another, but it just sort of develops on its own?

Have you read the memorising threads ?

Click to expand...

No, I hadn't! Good suggestion .

My experience of 5 has often been a more precise affair i.e. a period of time with a beginning middle and end as opposed to 53 which has been a definite cycle of time either over months or more often, years.

H.5 also appears to be focused on nourishment gained from this waiting (whereas nourishment in the context of 27 is about the nature of what we receive, designate and desire). Patience, trust and will power are needed to respect the micro-cycles playing out and thus not a little bit of courage to cross "the Great Stream." 5 can be a very wise and judicious use of energy - an economy of energy - which allows us to ride out danger and instability. I've certainly had H.5 a great deal over the last few years and I'm very glad I paid attention to it, even though it was at times very difficult to do so when you see the far shore so clearly...

53 seems to be a much more arduous and slow moving advance but a progressive one nonetheless. If 5 is talking about nourishment in the act of waiting and how we choose to wait, 53 has a slow, plodding quality of long term growth. It has a Saturine feel to me incorporating lessons and trials along the way. You ascend one step then stop for a breather, then the next and the next over a definite cycle of growth; gradual, concrete advancement with every step which is somehow rooted in the earth, each stage a threshold in itself.

topal said:

H.5 also appears to be focused on nourishment gained from this waiting

Click to expand...

That does seem to have been the case in Arabella's example.

My experience of 5 has often been a more precise affair i.e. a period of time with a beginning middle and end as opposed to 53 which has been a definite cycle of time either over months or more often, years.

Click to expand...

Not so much this with Arabella's 5uc example, which went on for a long time, but - of course - length of time, in and of itself, is only one factor.

53 has a slow, plodding quality of long term growth. It has a Saturine feel to me incorporating lessons and trials along the way.

Click to expand...

That fits the trigrams and the Image - a tree (long-term growth) on top of a mountain (mountains are very Saturnine). That would fit well with one of my own situations I've gotten 53uc for (haven't posted it here because it's not resolved yet).

You ascend one step then stop for a breather, then the next and the next over a definite cycle of growth; gradual, concrete advancement with every step which is somehow rooted in the earth, each stage a threshold in itself.

Click to expand...

Which might raise another question - what's the difference between 53 and 46? (Maybe we should let that one be rhetorical for now - one segue might be enough for one thread. :bag

Yes, that was on my mind too as I wrote that lol. I thought of going there but decided not for the reason you gave...though I do think there are definite differences ...Hmmm.

lisa said:

what's the difference between 53 and 46?

Click to expand...

There's an element of abiding within the movement (maybe this is where 5 entered in?), in 53. LiSe uses the idea of a waterwheel, another image is a flock of geese. Progress is gradual and part of a unit or group or of a larger mechanism, like one small gear within a mechanical clock.

46 is connected with an act of ones own will. The direction is upward, vertical, like steps or the rising of a tree.

35's direction is outward, like ones positive influence or reputation spreading, or gaining broader real estate.

I don't see 5 as related very much to this group, and seasons I see as related more strongly to 49. Abiding generally refers to lasting a long time; enduring. 5 can be for any length of time, and includes taking nourishment, staying alive while waiting rather than just wilting. A situation can tie them all together though.

"We rested before continuing on, letting our horses graze and drink from Rattlesnake Creek, while we made camp and grub around a warm fire, as nights were getting cold now that summer had passed. We filled our canteens and bellies. Oatman was still a day's ride ahead. There's gold in them thar hills! Cookie shouted. Oooeeyeepyeep! answered a lone coyote over yonder, hoping we'd leave some leftovers behind in the morning."

As mentioned in the 54 uc thread I have been looking at 53/54 pair in Ritsema and Sabbadini and was intrigued by what they write of this pair. They call 53 'Infiltrating' and say

The situation described by this hexagram is characterized by a gradual and steady penetration extending it's influence by degrees, like water seeping into cracks.

Click to expand...

The Pair

Infiltrating: womanhood converting awaits manhood moving indeed.
Converting Maidenhood: the completion belonging to the woman indeed.

Click to expand...

In 53 the gradual moves towards union are with the male. In 54 the moves, the completion is with the female.

I'm no scholar but this just caught my attention yesterday as good illustration for the different approaches/positions in 53 and 54.

Aha. I too have a 53uc and waiting story. Several weeks ago I asked, "What if we just go to the clerk's office and elope next week? Give me a picture of doing that." Yi replied with 53 unchanging, which is delightfully fitting-- after all, it's about preparation for marriage! ("Gradualness for a woman's marriage - auspicious" -LiSe, and "The development of events that leads to a girl's following a man to his home proceeds slowly. The various formalities must be disposed of before the marriage takes place." in Wilhelm's somewhat less modern terms...) We went so far as to get the license this week (which is several weeks following my question--so already out of the queried time frame). The license is good for several months, and now are back to thinking we'd like some family to be present for the actual ceremony, hence we're going to wait a bit longer for the final step...

So: a case of 53uc describing the situation quite well (thanks, Yi!), but also showing that there wouldn't be real completed action (hence that unchanging part) in the time frame I specified ("next week").

This casting further convinces me that when I get unchanging readings, it usually means that while energies and questions are present around the issue in discussion, and things might be happening, there won't be major action--at least in the time frame I specify when asking. (Sorry for the goobledygook grammar of that last sentence.)

Congratulations​

.....I think my flashing heart is very much the antithesis of 53uc but I couldn't find a more suitable smilie


This is the first wedding on the 53uc thread.....complimentary champagne on it's way..

Aww, thank you, Trojina! I appreciate the congrats.

Also your tiny little note under the flashing heart made me laugh out loud.

I've got a 53uc waiting story, just a little one: last week i was writing an article for a national publication that was supposed to go out this week. It was quite a big deal for me as it was the publication's cover story and one that required me having to get quotable comments from a few prominent people. When I sent in the copy on time the editors said it wasn't what they wanted and I'd need to rewrite in a couple of hours. I panicked a bit, but did so, sent in the new version,and asked the Yi if the article was good enough now to be published. 53uc. I thought, that means time - oh no - there's no time to rewrite it again, as the issue was about to go to press.

I didn't hear back from the editors again, and after a couple of hours thought: 53uc, meant that I'll be waiting to hear from them, but all will be well.

Sure enough, it did go to press but I only had it confirmed days later. Today, in fact, and it's already out on sale.

Got a new pair of trainers today. Was choosing between my usual size and half size smaller (shoe has a roomy toe box). Bought my usual size in the end. Took it home, wore it for a few hours, was starting to think I should have gotten the smaller pair.

"Did I get the wrong size?" 53uc.
I'm taking this to mean that I will gradually break or grow into it, no need to ex/change.

Let us know how it goes with the shoes

Quick update! I was at a store today and I tried on a half-size smaller pair again, it was more snug all around, but still had the same issues as the bigger ones I have at home. So the problem isn't the size; it's that the shoe design itself does not fit the activity I originally bought them for.

I've decided to keep the pair I have, but I won't use them for high intensity workouts anymore. I'll just use them for leisurely walking (gradual progress, a steady pace, step by step).

Recap of my experiences with 53UC over the years:
- for non relationship questions, it usually means "be patient, it will take a long time, and/or involve a process, but eventually the object of your query will work out".
- For relationship questions, in my experience,it has never ever ended up in union, lol! And that is very puzzling...

1. Bidding for the second time on the same flat, and being told for the second time that it had gone to a family friend. Frustrated, I asked "what if I just let things run their course now?" And got 53UC. I assumed it meant I would eventually buy something else. Well, to my great surprise, 3 months later, the agent called me to say the sale had fallen through and asked if I still wanted it. I did, and I got the keys another 2 months later. So it took 5 months from the 53UC cast, and a lot of due process - legal hoops, arranging mortgage etc... During which the sale almost fell through again for admin reasons. It took tenacious commitment...

2- Hiring an expensive lawyer on a desperate legal issue. Nobody wanted to touch the file because I was up against crooked people with a lot of power. The lawyer wanted half of the fee upfront, and all I had to go on was a recommendation. I asked "what if I hire this lawyer?" And got 53UC. I hired him. Well, he was stickler for process, and had high integrity. It took 8 months of legal hoops but we got to a favourable out of court settlement.

My take away: the 53UC process can involve false starts and trial and error. It takes patience, a step by step process, and a lot of commitment to stick through it, but it eventually works out.

3- several mundane questions: recovering my energy levels after a stomach flu that left me weak for a month; getting a fee ride somewhere; having to wait for an admin to get back from holiday to get some paperwork done; etc... In each case, 53UC just meant "be patient, build up to it a day at a time, you will reach your destination".

4- and the elusive relationship questions, which leave me scratching my head ������. 53UC for a relationship with a partner I still care for deeply, who had a severe mood disorder, not amenable to treatment. It was a painful decision but I had to withdraw to preserve my own sanity. 53UC for an ex BF and life long friend who keeps turning up offering a good time and a roll in the hay, but definitely no commitment. Not what I'm looking for at this stage of my life. 53UC for another ex BF who resurfaced after his divorce. We had stayed in touch as friends over the years, and I always thought he was the one that got away, it seemed promising. But he then suddenly veered into midlife crisis, commitment phobic, chasing every piece of skirt on the horizon. Obviously I took my distances. That one is still playing out. I did get 53.1.2.5> 26 when we first reconnected, so who knows? But I'm not holding my breath. In all those cases, as suggested by Hilary, the partner was emotionally less mature (although my age or older).

My only explanation for those relationship 53UCs is that maybe Yi was flashing me a reminder "remember 53UC? You wanted a good relationship based on solid foundations. Not something inherently unstable or uncommitted. It takes two to build a relationship. So what process are you following with this partner? How is this situation taking you in the right direction? He may need some growing up... Is he showing any signs of moving in the right direction? Will sheer patience change anything? You decide if it's worth waiting for".

In short, I take it as "getting to a lasting relationship takes trial and error, commitment, persistence. From both partners. Deciding to move on from unviable relationships is one step in that general direction". Wise perhaps, but it's taking decades... how boring!

Another thought - 53 is I believe made up of the trigrams Stilness and Flexible action. And in the examples where I did reach my end goal, there were periods of stillness, doing nothing, waiting, often not even knowing what's going on. Alternating with periods of taking timely action. Eg: bidding on the flat, not wasting a single day in replying to queries or to the bank during the acquisition process etc... So it's about being patient and trusting regarding a process, but still doing what needs to be done in a timely manner.

Recap of my experiences with 53UC over the years:
- for non relationship questions, it usually means "be patient, it will take a long time, and/or involve a process, but eventually the object of your query will work out".
- For relationship questions, in my experience,it has never ever ended up in union, lol! And that is very puzzling...

1. Bidding for the second time on the same flat, and being told for the second time that it had gone to a family friend. Frustrated, I asked "what if I just let things run their course now?" And got 53UC. I assumed it meant I would eventually buy something else. Well, to my great surprise, 3 months later, the agent called me to say the sale had fallen through and asked if I still wanted it. I did, and I got the keys another 2 months later. So it took 5 months from the 53UC cast, and a lot of due process - legal hoops, arranging mortgage etc... During which the sale almost fell through again for admin reasons. It took tenacious commitment...

2- Hiring an expensive lawyer on a desperate legal issue. Nobody wanted to touch the file because I was up against crooked people with a lot of power. The lawyer wanted half of the fee upfront, and all I had to go on was a recommendation. I asked "what if I hire this lawyer?" And got 53UC. I hired him. Well, he was stickler for process, and had high integrity. It took 8 months of legal hoops but we got to a favourable out of court settlement.

My take away: the 53UC process can involve false starts and trial and error. It takes patience, a step by step process, and a lot of commitment to stick through it, but it eventually works out.

3- several mundane questions: recovering my energy levels after a stomach flu that left me weak for a month; getting a fee ride somewhere; having to wait for an admin to get back from holiday to get some paperwork done; etc... In each case, 53UC just meant "be patient, build up to it a day at a time, you will reach your destination".

4- and the elusive relationship questions, which leave me scratching my head . 53UC for a relationship with a partner I still care for deeply, who had a severe mood disorder, not amenable to treatment. It was a painful decision but I had to withdraw to preserve my own sanity. 53UC for an ex BF and life long friend who keeps turning up offering a good time and a roll in the hay, but definitely no commitment. Not what I'm looking for at this stage of my life. 53UC for another ex BF who resurfaced after his divorce. We had stayed in touch as friends over the years, and I always thought he was the one that got away, it seemed promising. But he then suddenly veered into midlife crisis, commitment phobic, chasing every piece of skirt on the horizon. Obviously I took my distances. That one is still playing out. I did get 53.1.2.5> 26 when we first reconnected, so who knows? But I'm not holding my breath. In all those cases, as suggested by Hilary, the partner was emotionally less mature (although my age or older).

My only explanation for those relationship 53UCs is that maybe Yi was flashing me a reminder "remember 53UC? You wanted a good relationship based on solid foundations. Not something inherently unstable or uncommitted. It takes two to build a relationship. So what process are you following with this partner? How is this situation taking you in the right direction? He may need some growing up... Is he showing any signs of moving in the right direction? Will sheer patience change anything? You decide if it's worth waiting for".

In short, I take it as "getting to a lasting relationship takes trial and error, commitment, persistence. From both partners. Deciding to move on from unviable relationships is one step in that general direction". Wise perhaps, but it's taking decades... how boring!

Thanks Yasmin, some great examples and some interesting thoughts about 53 and relationships. I have suspected the time scale of the development of the relationship is so much vaster than what we can even imagine what looks like no progress, can actually, on the scale it's playing out on, still be progress. This is often little comfort !

Reminds me of a joke Hilary told, see if I can find it....

Here we are from this thread https://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?21581-The-I-Ching-Book-of-Jokes-and-Riddles

This man's watching TV one winter's night when he hears a small knock at the door. He finds a snail on the doorstep and picks it up. 'Brrr!' says the snail. 'Can I come in?' Which is creepy, so the man throws the snail over the garden wall.

Spring comes... summer passes... the nights draw in... and one night his TV viewing is interrupted by a knock at the door. He opens up - there's the snail again. It says, 'What did you do that for?

Click to expand...

Hilary related that joke to 24.3 but it also reminds me of 53.

LOL! Like Groundhog Day Come to think of it that movie is a great illustration of 24.3...

Anyway, regarding 53UC in relationships, I can see the value of following a process, such as described in "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus". Perhaps a bit rational for such an emotional topic as love, but I thought it was a good illustration of 53UC in modern life. It makes sense, gradual progress, with a deepening of mutual appreciation and commitment over a period of maybe 18 months. That should be enough in most cases to know if you want to make a lasting commitment or not.

But my experiences with 53UC were glacial paced, nothing discernible to the human eye, and with lot of real life reasons to move on. So why would the Yi give me 53UC? Gradual progress, but towards what? Maybe just towards enlightenment, ie inner progress. Maybe the experience was valuable to both partners on some subliminal level, setting a standard, perhaps clarifying what we did NOT want? That's gradual progress in its own right. Maybe I'm just slow learner, hahaha!

LOL! Like Groundhog Day Come to think of it that movie is a great illustration of 24.3...

Anyway, regarding 53UC in relationships, I can see the value of following a process, such as described in "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus". Perhaps a bit rational for such an emotional topic as love, but I thought it was a good illustration of 53UC in modern life. It makes sense, gradual progress, with a deepening of mutual appreciation and commitment over a period of maybe 18 months. That should be enough in most cases to know if you want to make a lasting commitment or not.

But my experiences with 53UC were glacial paced, nothing discernible to the human eye, and with lot of real life reasons to move on. So why would the Yi give me 53UC? Gradual progress, but towards what? Maybe just towards enlightenment, ie inner progress. Maybe the experience was valuable to both partners on some subliminal level, setting a standard, perhaps clarifying what we did NOT want? That's gradual progress in its own right. Maybe I'm just slow learner, hahaha!

Apologies, the system keeps posting everything twice!
Last one from me today: I think my shorthand for the relationship 53UCs that don't make sense is going to be: "this is contributing to your growth process".
Namaste

yasmin said:

LOL! Like Groundhog Day Come to think of it that movie is a great illustration of 24.3...

Anyway, regarding 53UC in relationships, I can see the value of following a process, such as described in "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus". Perhaps a bit rational for such an emotional topic as love, but I thought it was a good illustration of 53UC in modern life. It makes sense, gradual progress, with a deepening of mutual appreciation and commitment over a period of maybe 18 months. That should be enough in most cases to know if you want to make a lasting commitment or not.

But my experiences with 53UC were glacial paced, nothing discernible to the human eye, and with lot of real life reasons to move on. So why would the Yi give me 53UC? Gradual progress, but towards what? Maybe just towards enlightenment, ie inner progress. Maybe the experience was valuable to both partners on some subliminal level, setting a standard, perhaps clarifying what we did NOT want? That's gradual progress in its own right. Maybe I'm just slow learner, hahaha!

Click to expand...

I'm wondering if it's something like you said earlier here

My only explanation for those relationship 53UCs is that maybe Yi was flashing me a reminder "remember 53UC? You wanted a good relationship based on solid foundations. Not something inherently unstable or uncommitted. It takes two to build a relationship. So what process are you following with this partner? How is this situation taking you in the right direction? He may need some growing up... Is he showing any signs of moving in the right direction? Will sheer patience change anything? You decide if it's worth waiting for".

Click to expand...

If you read Wilhelm on 53 he stresses how each step in the courtship has to be gone through in the right order to succeed. 53uc might have been showing that if these stages weren't being gone through in order, that is if there were 'steps' you could see were missing then the 'goal' might not be reached. Just as with the flat everything had to go through according to process. If steps, steps of the admin were missed then the thing could not go through. Same with the story with the lawyer. If you transpose this for example

I asked "what if I hire this lawyer?" And got 53UC. I hired him. Well, he was stickler for process, and had high integrity. It took 8 months of legal hoops but we got to a favourable out of court settlement.

Click to expand...

...onto a relationship, well what if there is no 'stickler for process' on the part of the other ? Then although the potential for relationship is there the person is not taking the correct procedure to reach the goal of a successful long term union. For the lawyer there's a set of requirements to proceed from one to the next to completion but these days what would that look like in a relationship ? The stages are there, if variable, in all kinds of relationships such as the stages of friendship, but in past times the stages of courtship would have been more defined than today. With the lawyer and the flat someone's working through those stages but with the relationship who is defining what the stages are now there's so little laid down as to 'what's meant to happen next'. We all have a rough idea according to what is acceptable to us in our culture etc etc but there's vast differences in these between individuals.

I'm not sure that explains why you got 53uc though it's just an idea sparked from this where I thought you were onto something

maybe Yi was flashing me a reminder "remember 53UC? You wanted a good relationship based on solid foundations. Not something inherently unstable or uncommitted. It takes two to build a relationship. So what process are you following with this partner? How is this situation taking you in the right direction? He may need some growing up... Is he showing any signs of moving in the right direction?

Click to expand...

Having said that I also think there's times where it shows the relationship does develop...just glacially

Trojina, yay, I think you have nailed it))

"Then although the potential for relationship is there the person is not taking the correct procedure to reach the goal of a successful long term union."

We tend to forget that IC is conditional - IF the conditions are met, then the omen is good. Otherwise, nothing happens. So 53UC can be turning back the question to the querent to examine if some kind of "process" is being followed, if things are progressing harmoniously in the general direction of deeper appreciation and mutual commitment.

And as a consolation, even if the lucid answer is that it's time to move on, it also says "but this is contributing to your growth process, you are walking the talk, aligning your choices with your end goal, getting that much closer to what you really want"

Greetings,

On October 1, 2017 I asked whether or not I should tell Mr. X that I'm available for work again after November 18. Response 53 UC confused me but I did indeed inform X that I would start taking jobs again after November 18. He booked work for me and I repeatedly had to cancel all of it due to health issues.

Work is still available to me but now - over 3 months after the 53UC reading - I still have physical issues which make me leery about committing to a date. This is one long, slow unresolved 53 process..